Grounding: Has It Become A Misunderstood Ritual? An Offering of 7 Reimagined Grounding Practices

by Jennifer Finch, M.A., LPC, NCC, SEP

January 18, 2025

Have you ever been told to calm down by someone shaking their finger in your face? Has it ever worked? For me, it never has. If anything, it’s like pouring gasoline on an already roaring fire. It’s an odd thing we do. As a culture, we don’t generally handle the outward appearance of a temper tantrum well. We equate calmness, and by that, I mean the appearance of looking calm, with being in control and control with groundedness.

Lately, I’ve noticed how the concept of “grounding” has become a buzzword in psychological, yogic, and somatic circles. We are obsessed with it. But I can’t help but wonder if we are misinterpreting what it can really mean. Yesterday, in my new Healing Ground cohort, I attempted to explain this disconnect between what I see in the popularized and colloquial usage of the term versus what “the ground” is in the work of the Healing Ground Realization Process, where it is so much more.

This dichotomy I am seeing raises the question: Are we reducing the ground and being grounded to a narrow, one-dimensional concept—something that looks a certain way but doesn’t truly feel grounded?

Are we conflating being “grounded” with a limited outcome of being emotionally placid or, worse, just an act? Have we reduced grounding to a performance, a pose, a posture, or a gesture of some kind that looks unanimous to everyone? Even if mimicking the idea of cohesive stability, is everyone really feeling grounded? Do we even know what “grounded” feels like without being prompted by someone else to become grounded?

In many classes and teacher trainings, I’ve witnessed people respond to the cue to “get grounded” by stiffening and erecting their spines, taking a deep belly breath, and closing their eyes. As if flipping a switch, there is an automatic execution. A call and response task. And, while I am not against this cue to a whole-body make-over and reset, I am wondering if this is performative. Monkey see, monkey do.

Despite the directive, I am still seeing individuals in the crowd who appear disconnected and lack presence in their wholeness, even though they stoically “appear” grounded. It’s almost as if the prompt to “get grounded” is a Pavlovian stimulus to sever from one’s surroundings. A signal encouraging a complete cut off from everything and then a withdrawal into themselves. Ironically, the prompt alone indicates an unlinking from the source, the ground, in this case, which provides the connection we need to feel grounded. This loss of one’s connection to the ground, both literally and figuratively, seems to be a preliminary requirement in order to attune to one’s internal landscape successfully.

Are we caught in a duality that deepens the very patterns we seek to escape? Splitting from the world and all within it to find and “reconnect” with ourselves, only to lose that connection the moment our eyes open and our gaze returns to the world around us?

Does the very sensation of “I am grounded” subtly amplify, or even reinforce the belief in its opposite, “I am not grounded”? Do these identities feed each other, locking us into an oscillating loop on an endless carousel ride? I don’t know about you, but I despise carnivals. They give me the creeps. Yet we keep getting on this spooky merry-go-round. At a dizzying speed, where grounding becomes a fleeting experience, only when prompted by an external source such as a teacher or meditation app, and then forgotten the moment the class or practice ends? On. Off. Grounded. Ungrounded. In perpetuity.

Here lies the paradox: if grounding requires severing ties with the external to touch something internal, can it ever truly anchor us in the reality of our daily lives? If these two dual beliefs rely on each other, grounding, in this case, becomes an either/or predicament. A dilemma creating an artificial choice between retreating inward to “get grounded” or staying connected to the world and conceding ungroundedness.

But this either/or approach is the see-saw we cannot seem to escape. We teeter endlessly, mistaking disconnection for connection, never realizing that true grounding allows us to hold both our inner presence and the world around us simultaneously—without fragmenting.

Enter a reimagined ground. Discovering the ground of our being is a nondual experience. When we reveal nonduality in our experience, we can get off the motion sickness carousel ride of duality.

What I am proposing is that there is a different kind of ground. So that we can “get grounded” but then “stay grounded.”

Before I give 7 tips to help you discover this ground for yourself, first, let me clarify: I am not talking about the literal ground under our feet. So, if the word “grounded” conjures images of standing firmly on the earth, as though stability is something the crust of the earth beneath our feet grants us, I invite you to begin broadening the scope of the word “ground” by imagining a Cirque du Soleil performer balancing on a tightrope high above the bedrock ground. They are the most grounded and embodied individuals you will ever witness, yet there is no literal “ground” beneath them. There is no need to review your 7th-grade geology class handbook to understand what I am talking about. What they possess is an attunement to what Dr. Judith Blackstone calls the ground of being. It is an experiential gateway to a profound, unwavering presence that can infuse steadiness and depth so that we can retain and sustain a sense of groundedness in every moment of our lives.

In her books, Trauma and the Unbound Body and The Empathic Ground, Dr. Blackstone describes the ground of being as an intrinsic, unchanging quality of presence within us that underlies all experience. It is a profound stillness and spaciousness that exists beneath the layers and noise of thought, emotion, and physical sensation. This ground of being is not something we create or achieve. It doesn’t even need to look calm. You can be right in the midst of the chaos of life, feeling anxiety, anger, or excitement, and still remain tethered to this deep, unshakable presence. Because it is always present, it is a reliable ground, a fundamental aspect of our existence that can be rediscovered and inhabited more fully. Enthusiastically, the more we uncover the ground of our being, the more we stabilize and have the ability to hold intense emotions, physical limitations, and mentally challenging circumstances. Despite what is going on, the ground of our being is unwavering. Hence, we remain grounded; no “get grounded” prompt is needed.

Here are a few key elements of how Dr. Blackstone describes the ground of our being:

1.   A Felt Sense of Fundamental Wholeness

The ground of being is described as an unfragmented, stable presence that we can feel throughout our body. It is not localized to one part but rather a pervasive, integrated sense of being fully here in the world. This wholeness is distinct from the fragmented experience that trauma often creates, where parts of the self feel disconnected or dissociated.

   •     Do this: Feel your presence permeate your entire body as if your awareness naturally fills every part of you.

   •     Not this: Sit stiffly and try to force a sense of calm by isolating your attention to one area, like your breath or feet.

2.   Spacious Stillness

The ground of being is characterized by a spacious stillness that allows for a deep sense of rest and safety. This stillness is not about being physically still; rather, it is an inner stillness that remains steady even amidst movement, thought, or emotion. It is a place where we can experience life without being carried away by its turbulence.

   •     Do this: Allow stillness to arise naturally as you attune to the unchanging presence within, even amidst movement or noise.

   •     Not this: Assume stillness means freezing your body or silencing all thoughts and sensations.

    3. Trauma and the Ground of Being

Trauma often disrupts our ability to access the ground of being. According to Dr. Blackstone, trauma can cause us to contract physically and energetically, pulling us away from this deeper connection. These contractions serve as protective mechanisms but also limit our capacity to inhabit our full selves and experience life freely.

In healing trauma, reconnecting with the ground of being involves releasing these contractions and rediscovering a state of openness and stability. This process is not about avoiding difficult emotions or sensations but about allowing them to arise within the spacious, unchanging presence of our being.

   •     Do this: Gently explore areas of contraction in your body, letting them soften and reconnect to the whole.

   •     Not this: Push yourself to “let go” or bypass the discomfort, pretending to feel grounded when you’re not.

    4. Empathic Connection

The ground of being is also deeply relational. Dr. Blackstone describes how, when we are in touch with this intrinsic stillness, we can connect with others more authentically and empathically. This connection doesn’t require merging or losing boundaries; instead, it allows us to experience both our individuality and our interconnectedness simultaneously.

   •     Do this: Stay open to your own presence while also feeling the subtle energy of connection with others.

   •     Not this: Merge with others or disconnect entirely to “protect” yourself while trying to stay grounded.

     5. The Unbound Body

In Trauma and the Unbound Body, Dr. Blackstone explores how the ground of being allows for what she calls the “unbound body.” This is a state where the boundaries between inner and outer experience become more fluid, enabling us to feel both our individuality and our relationship with the larger field of life. This unbound state is not dissociation but an expanded sense of presence that includes the whole body and its surroundings.

   •     Do this: Sense how your body and awareness extend beyond physical boundaries, connecting to the space around you.

   •     Not this: Focus exclusively on the idea of “being inside your body” as the only form of grounding.

     6. Energetic Flow and Embodiment

Rather than being a static or purely mental concept, the ground of being is deeply embodied. Dr. Blackstone emphasizes the role of energy in inhabiting the ground of being. When we are fully connected to this foundation, energy flows more freely throughout the body, allowing for a sense of vitality and integration. Trauma disrupts this flow, but through practices like those in the Realization Process, we can restore it.

   •     Do this: Let energy move freely through your body while remaining tethered to your inner stillness.

   •     Not this: Clamp down on emotions or energy, mistaking suppression for stability or feeling grounded.

     7. Nonduality and Individuality

A unique aspect of Dr. Blackstone’s teaching is her emphasis on the compatibility of nonduality with individuality. The ground of being allows us to experience our unity with all life without dissolving our sense of self. This integration of personal and universal dimensions is central to her approach to healing and self-realization.

   •     Do this: Rest in the deep awareness of your individuality within the context of a larger, universal presence.

   •     Not this: Lose your sense of self in an attempt to feel one with everything, or avoid connection altogether in the name of individuality.

In summary, I invite you to contrast between being grounded in the ground of our being with the conventional routine of “getting grounded.” The latter often feels like clamping down on emotions, energy, and even our own vitality, all in an effort to look serene and composed. But let’s be honest, that’s not grounding. That’s suppression. A temporary grip on control that falls apart the moment life throws us more life. Is it any surprise we constantly need reminders to “ground ourselves”? It’s not sustainable because it’s not an authentic or real prompt. It may not just be performance-based, although it is starting to feel that way. I am sure “get grounded” is serving some purpose to invite settling and cohesiveness and a “re-connection” to ourselves. What I am challenging here is why we crumble our groundedness at the first sign of stress or the minute we walk into our house after our yoga practice.

 What I am proposing is a rediscovery of the ground of our being.

The ground of our being, as Dr. Blackstone teaches, is always available. It’s spacious enough to hold everything. Calm or chaos. Stillness and movement. When we’re attuned to it, we stop swinging between extremes, and the polarizing duality of “grounded” and “not grounded” lose their grip and ultimately end. Energy flows freely without destabilizing us. And we can attune to ourselves while remaining deeply connected to our environment and quite importantly, the ground.

This has profound implications not only for spiritual practice but also for psychological healing. When we live from the ground of being, we’re no longer at war with ourselves. We can embrace the full range of our experience—light and dark, calm and electric—without fragmenting.

So, the next time someone tells you to “calm down” or “get grounded,” pause and ask yourself: What does grounded mean to me? Am I embodying my presence, or am I performing a version of calm? Am I rooted in my being or suppressing my vitality to fit an idea? Am I able to feel deeply connected to myself and my surroundings, or am I severing myself from my environment?

The ground of your being is always there, waiting for you to settle into it, not as a place to escape but as a foundation to live fully and vibrantly. Discover your rhythm and trust that it is enough. Because it is.

Be Here. And Be Now.

Jen

If you are seeking more practices to access the ground of your being, I offer introductory and advanced courses that offer somatic and meditation attunement exercises to help individuals access this aspect of themselves. These include:

   •     Core breath work: Connecting with the central channel of the body to rediscover presence and balance.

   •     Release techniques: Letting go of tension and contraction in specific areas of the body.

   •     Attunement exercises: Developing sensitivity to the subtle qualities of the ground of being within oneself and in relationship to others.

Through these practices, individuals can develop a deeper sense of presence, resilience, and connection, moving from a trauma-driven existence to one of profound openness and wholeness.

Visit Upcoming Courses here: https://www.beherenowmindfulness.com/courses-list-shop